A hell of a long while.
I kind of lost myself for a bit there…and I didn’t know how to get myself back (I’m working on it).
I stopped doing things that I enjoyed. I stopped seeing my friends. I felt like my relationship was in a downward spiral (God knows I still do).
As soon as we start becoming a normal young couple, something happens that pushes us right back to where we were last year. Doing nothing, sitting in the house not being in my town only being at his house (May I add, as I’m not sure if I’ve said in previous posts or not, he’s moved, even further away, it’s like over an hour just to drive there (Which may I add, I can’t yet, although I am doing my lessons)). So I am currently relying on his mum’s boyfriend to pick me up and drop me home (Oh yeah, she moved up there too, lives about 15 minutes away from them)…not the best because it’s even more awkward than spending money to go to his mum’s old house to see them for a couple of hours if I knew they were going to be there.
It’s just so hard, I had a break down the other week when we were on the phone, I was walking my dog at the time but I told him about everything I’ve been feeling. And ended up sat crying in the park like an idiot (I never cry!)
I always imagined by now, if I had a steady relationship with a guy/girl that we would have our own flat. I’m 25 in October and he is 25 January and it just seems like I’m the only one who actually wants my own place (No actually, I know I’m the only one, he’s fine living with his family and doesn’t want an actual place of his own). But I don’t see the point of even trying to get my own place because I’d never see him unless I went to his.
We actually spent time at my mum’s boyfriends the other week with them, for the first time ever, which was nice. But it is as isolated as his house so we never went out other than to the shop and then back home…On the plus side she has a new puppy, he’s gorgeous. Horrid name though, so I call him Bear (Much to her boyfriends hatred, I guess he knows how I feel about Bear’s actual name then. Huh?).
Onyx and Bear met the other day, it was so cute. Onyx has never been around other animals as when we first had her she had a tendancy to try and bite them (Still does). They barked at each other so much,the more he barked the louder and more frequent hers got. She was a very grumpy baby as she was being told off for trying to hurt him but we tried it and by the end (She had her muzzle and lead on, just incase) he was jumping on her head and she was just looking at me as if to say, really? But it went a lot better than I thought it would have.
I mean, I was upstairs when they first came in and she didn’t rip him to shreads and she didn’t have her muzzle on then either. She just got a bit uppity with him. Then again, I think I would if I’d never been around other humans and then all of a sudden one was in my house touching my things, touching me. So I think she did really well.
We used to take her to dog training classes and we’ve tried god knows how many things but I think the best thing would be if they had a while together to get used to each other. Because I’d love to be abel to take them both to the beach.
The only thing I was really worried about with Bear is he’s so small. He’s only 4 months old. She’s 12/13.
Oh! My mum also whispered in my ear asking me if Bear trying to playfight with Onyx was foreplay…because he bit her ear.
We are puppy sitting again next weekend I think, I’m looking forward to it just wish we could do it in my mums house not her boyfriends as it would be so much easier.
I still haven’t done my purple dreads, every time I’ve gone to do them I’ve just not been able to concentrate. Not had the heart? I don’t know…Like I said in the top of the post, I kind of lost myself. I love reading, I haven’t read a book since I was at Jay’s and couldn’t get two seconds of peace to read downstairs with his sisters shouting, singing and god knows what and then when I went upstairs to read in the quiet it started an argument.
There is just so many things I want to do and not enough time to do them, especially with me working at the moment, I forgot to mention I have a temporary job at the moment. I’ve been here a while now and it’s nice. Only problem being I’m getting paid £50 a week to do everyones grunt work.
Hmm I think that’s everything pretty much up to date….Oh no, we thought my dog had cancer the other week and I ended up paying £120ish for tests to see if she did. She didn’t but it was heart wrenching before I found out that she didn’t. I was on pins every time my phone went off when I was waiting on the results.
✞Somethingfilthy✞ 